Thursday, July 8, 2010

Enjoying ice cream!

I am sitting now watching Karlee very enthusiastically eat an M&M flurry. Who knew that the little things in life could be so fun yet challenging? It does take my mind off the very obvious next phase of cancer.... hair falling out, for a little bit anyway. I have been living in fear of this everyday now since Monday. There is one part of me that wants it to just fall out all at once. I can kind of see it happening as if I was a big oak tree in the fall with lots of dead leaves just waiting on a big wind to blow and all of the leaves falling off at once. I feel like I need to walk holding my head very straight and still so that I can protect every last hair on my head. The last 2 days I have had several strands fall out when brushing my hair or drying my hair. It terrifies me. They say that when you go to sleep you will wake up and your hair will be all over your pillow. Kimber didn't sleep last night at all. I think that I outsmarted my hair another day, because I just dozed off and on. It didn't know that it was night time. My head is getting more tender every day. This is another sign that it is fast approaching. Everyone says it is just hair and that it will grow back. I know it is, but it is my hair. What if I have the ugliest bald head a person could ever have? I know that once I get past it being gone, everything will be fine. It is just another first in the having cancer saga. Have I told you lately how much having cancer sucks?

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